All these Bad Jokes are yours, except Europa. Attempt no Deleted Nonsense there.
From Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
| BJAODN Contents |
|
Page
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19 |
From Lobster
Maine Lobsters are actually native to the waters of New York. The term "lobster" first referred to a fuzzy otter-like creature commonly found along the New England coast. Teddy Roosevelt, during his time in New York City, led a campaign to have Maine Lobsters, then known as "Awful Clawfuls" removed from the city sewers and water ways (where they were causing much damage to the infrastructure) and relocated to the cold waters of Maine. The creatures quickly overcame the "fuzzy old lobsters" and became quite prevelant, eventually driving the otter-like mammals to extinction. Locals began refering to the "Awful Clawfuls" as "the Awful Lobster-killers" and eventually just "Lobsters."
From "1933 in video gaming"
There were not any video games at this time.
From New York Knicks
Primary logo design: The words "FIRE ISIAH" (with "ISIAH" being larger than the other one) above a basketball on top of an upturned isosceles triangle. The design is featured on the Knicks uniform shorts. This is a modernized version of the "roundball" logo the Knicks have used since 1964.
Courageism
Courageism (kûr uj ism), n.
A twenty-first century response to terrorism characterized by a resolution to take the risk of suffering terrorist violence rather than avoid that risk by appeasement.
From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Courageism:
- Delete I didn't know Bush had a Wiki account
From Cheese - Post-Modern Ironic Interpretations Of Cheese
In the modern world "Cheese" is used as a metaphor for a wide and varied selection of things. From the historical position of being a main food stuff of Henry VIII, it has grown and developed through the years into one of the greatest leaders of modern time. After a bried stint as Chancellor of Germany 1933-45, cheese moved on to become one of Great Britains leading actors, starting off with Graeme Garden, and Tim-Brooke Taylor as the third "Goodie" cheese was eventually awarded an OBE for it's outstanding work on Badger Watch. Before long, Cheese became bored, and after being the one and only James Bond, decided to increase it's legend status but staring in "The Pacifier", "XXX", and "The Fast And The Furious" as that yellow car.
More recently however, cheese has once again become nothing more than a humble food stuff and tastes fantastic on toast.
Sam Jordison
Sam Jordison is a UK based writer. Not burdened by false modesty, weirdly fond of laughing at his own jokes, and frighteningly keen to pimp his own journalistic ass in every which way he can, he's more than happy to re-write his own entry on Wikipedia. Especially since the last one was a) so short that it was put up for deletion and b) full of slurs about his [insert impressive adjective] work in the trenches of anti-cult activity.[...]
To help his bid for maintaining this article's longevity he's included a picture of himself taken by his friend Luke.
Akira Natori
Akira Natori (???) is a Japanese astronomer.
He is a prolific discoverer of asteroids.
He had hemroids the size of asteroid as well.
Asteroid 5520 Natori is named after him.
Bobby 'Cosmo' Martin
Bobby 'Cosmo' Martin is an American Chocolate Labrador who resides in Fair Oaks, Texas. He was born in the summer of 1999, and has made countless contributions to society.
He is an undisputed master of the English language, understanding several complex command sequences such as "sit", "lay down", "roll over", "do you want a cookie", and "walk." Not only can he perform these difficult tasks, but he can also understand and answer different burning questions such as, "what time is it?" This marvel of nature can actually tell time on the 24 hr. system and inform the person inquiring that it is indeed time for him to consume his midday meal. Bobby Martin has his afternoon feast at precisely 3:00 pm every day and is vigliant in making sure that his family keeps it that way. Bobby's extreme dedication to sticking with tradition and consistency is just one of a slew of admirable traits posessed by the beast.
Bobby Martin is also an extremely proficient swimmer, putting many Olympic athletes to shame. According to lore, Martin once spent over 5 hours training in the pool without any rest, therefore permanantly etching his aquatic abilities into the stories of legend. Not just a local legend, Bobby has reportedly been admired and talked about by many accomplished celeberties. Olympic Swimmer Greg Louganis is rumored to have said, "that dog sure can can swim," and Baywatch heartthrob David Hasselhoff reportedly said "I wish that dog had been on my squad. A lot of unnecessary drownings certainally could've been averted." Many have tried to match Martin in stamina and distance, but so far, none have had the heart. For now, it seems that his crown is secure, and that undoubtablly pleases him greatly.
Bobby Martin has invented an new method of water elimination after prolonged water exercises. The technique know only to Bobby Martin is known as the "tripod stance" meaning, that Bobby Martin has the ability to stand motionless for a recorded 75 seconds with the only movement being the red, torpedo shaped penis through which Bobby Martin eliminates excess water from his system, no doubt taken on during grueling high stepping cardiovasular drills when his olympic traning coach yells "Go Bobby Go". To observe the water elimiation event is truly an opportunity to observe the upmost in control, poise, dignity and shameless pleasure and relief.
Bobby Martin has the ability to differentiate not only types of cars according to sound but the color of cars according to sound. It has been recorded, again and again, that Bobby Martin can discern a silver BMW and maroon Expedition from literally hundreds of cars traveling across the same street in front of his home. Truly a remarkable feat as, the BMW has a 5 sped transmission and Bobby Martin ONLY greets this car. Although it has not been scientifically proven that Bobby Martin can differentiate the car according to transmissin type, the studies are under way to prove or disprove this astounding fact.
It has been said that 'It's lonely at the top,' but not for Martin. Bobby has maintained a suprisingly low profile over the years, which has shielded him from the endless sexual advances from women and flashing lights of the paparazzi. Bobby once mentioned that he was no 'German Sheppard," undoubtably in reference to Benji("Benji", 1986) and Eddie(TV Sitcom 'Frasier") the cocaine-addicted mutts of Hollywood.
Loved by most, hated by some, but RESPECTED by all, Bobby is without question the most revered living being to ever exist on the earth. He knows what he wants in life, and he isn't afraid to go get it. We could all benefit from his experience and hopefully someday, mankind will rise to his level, ensuring a beautiful and prosperous future for all.
From Quailtard
Quailtard is a portmanteau of "Quail," a mid-sized game bird of the pheasant family, and "retard," an often offensive term used to describe the mentally challenged. First used on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart]. The word was used in humorous reference to the farm-raised quail released for hunting by Vice President, Dick Cheney, and others on Katharine Armstrong's south Texas ranch. On February 11, 2006, while hunting these quail, Cheney accidentally shot hunting companion, Harry M. Whittington, a lawyer from Austin, TX, with his 28 gauge shotgun from a reported distance of thirty yards.
Among the many aspects of the story that became fodder for late night television comedians, were the quail themselves, and the whole idea of such staged hunting.
Cites
"Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quailtards is letting the quail know 'how' we're hunting them."
- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Monday, February 13, 2006
From American and British English differences
+ Whereas a speaker of British English might say "Wotcher, mate. Mind loaning us a few quid till Sunday, love?", a speaker of American English would say "Yo ma homies! Gimme ten bucks until Sunday, K?".
Shampoo Effect
The Shampoo Effect refers to the effect of doing a little bit of something (usually drinking alcohol) after doing a lot of something and getting the same effect. If you read the directions on the back of a bottle of shampoo, it nearly always says "Lather, Rinse, Repeat", and the repeat is the important step here. If you wash your hair normally with shampoo and then after you are all rinsed, put a tiny drop of shampoo in your hair and you will have a full lather even though the amount of shampoo was minimal. Take the same idea and put it to drinking: if you drink a ton of booze one night and get drunk, the next morning you can just have a shot or a beer and you will feel the effects much stronger than you would if you didn't have anything the night before. Hence, the Shampoo Effect.
In Pancho Villa
sidekick: Nacho Esquire - little known sidekick of Pancho Villa. Was instrumental in the majority of Pancho Villa's Executions.
From Alex Beach
Hundreds of people a day visit the nude beach in order to see the naked men. It is famous for the naked men, and only the naked men. There are no women, unfortunately.
From JAMIE TRAVIS
Born in the roaring '20s, Jamie Travis would become the greatest hero Britain has ever seen.
Phil
Did I mention that he had a nice doggy? Phil accompanied Jamie on many trips. Argumentative but cute, Phil was promptly run over by an ice cream truck. Ironically, ice cream was his favorite. Also ironic was the fact that the driver was a dog.
From Hypothetical disaster
Not likey to happen
Sudden loss of Gravity
A sudden loss of gravity is a hypothetical disaster , were the earth suddenly and momentarly losses it gravitational pull. Such of a disaster has never been proven by sciencetists and are only described in science fiction books , movies and tv shows.
In other words, it sounds cool and would make a neat movie although it couldn't actually happen.
Taken from :category:moo
From Uberlot
See the archived page User:King of Hearts/BJAODN Archive/Uberlot.
From Universal testicularism
Universal Testicularism is a cult of approximately 250 members in and around the Barrington area. It started in February, 2004 by Chris Bove and Bobby Schramm. Unfortuantely, because many non-members do not take the cult seriously, it has not yet recieved recognition.
Basic Beliefs- Our universe is inside the scrotum of the god named KWJYKUUP( the first five letters are silent). Our god lives in his own universe with other gods containing other universes. All the planets and stars are his many testicles and humans are his sperm. When a human dies, his soul gets ejaculated into either a good female god (heaven), a bad god (hell) or when our god is masturbating (purgatory). Catastrophes usually occur when god is having sex, and most deaths not during catastrophes occur during god’s weak perpetual masturbation. Earthquakes occur when god gets kicked in the balls.
List of pop songs in Esperanto
A list of pop songs in Esperanto.
- "Esperanto", by Kabah
[end of list]
IMDb Criticism
90% of IMDB users have AIDS, thus making it a very unclean database.
This page is full. Please add new Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense to the latest page, not here.
