And now for something completely different... Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
From Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
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A quote from Monty Python's Flying Circus.
| Feel free to add BJAODN to the newest page, but cite the source you got those Bad Jokes from. Thank you. |
Short Biography of Albert Einstein
Albert Johnson Einstein was born in Trenton, New York in 1854. During his childhood Albert Einstein lived through a bombing raid on the town of his Birth in Germany during which his father died and his mother soon died of radiation sickness that was a result. he went to school in england at drexel and graduated with high honors. Afterwards, at just the age of 36 in 1967 he invented the theory of relativitey which explains why exactly an equation works. He died in the bombimg of Hiroshima while designing a new type of space craft for a mission to mars in 1987.
Few argue that the Cold War had a profound effect on Einstein's childhood because he spent most of it in Soviet Russia. During this time he studied nuclear weapons and began to design a spacecraft that would later be used as a submarine to explore the beep water trenches of the Pacific and Indian Ocean.
Einstein lead a profitable life, as the main founder of IBM and Disney. He will always be remembered as the man who invented deep dish pizza and who shot the sherif. Chuck Norris owes many of his skills to Einstein.
From Bullshit
This word has its origins to the late Bulle Shittosky(1874-1941) who commonly used a shortened version of his name to express discontent. It slowly seeped into everyday conversation and now is a commonly used word.
From Slow
- The speed at which Wikipedia operates.
From Wide Binary
Wide Binary is a mainstream alternative to traditional binary, but with the added bonus of affording 7 choices, instead of the more traditional two.
Wide Binary bits are either 0, 1 (to maintain compatibility with traditional binary), plus the new options K, , €, Denis and 'Flarflwe', which cannot be represented in a human-readable form.
The widebit, K, rose to popularity last year with news of its inclusion in the forthcoming Mac OS X 10.5 version of rm
Whilst the other wide pieces of binary have so-far failed to grab mainstream recognition, traces of Denis have been found in HTML pages online, and an RFC was put forward to develop a new bit-mapped display for PCs, to display Flarflwe with the use of circles.
Plenty (movie)
Huh? Its probably on IMDB.
Note: wikified for clarity; see also http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089816/ for an actual entry on a movie of that title
Axe of Nopolt
The Axe of Nopolt is a cultural object which attained great significance in Britain towards the end of Margaret Thatcher's premiership in the late 20th Century. Large crowds frequently gathered in major urban areas rallying round placards emblazoned with Nopolt and his axe. These gatherings were generally suppressed with considerable force by squads of Police armed with Batons and Riot shields. The chant was also a focus for significant Civil disobedience, leading to a number of high profile Prosecutions and Imprisonments.
Ultimately the, unrest over the Axe of Nopolt led to the downfall of Margaret Thatcher herself, held responsible by the Conservative Party for the Riots. Even now in British Politics any truly disastrous Policy (such as rail privatisation) is compared to Thatchers problems and MPs will readily acknowledge that they never again wish to hear the cry of "Nopolt Axe!".
Blackness Scale
The Blackness Scale was invented by S.M.Ransom during the summer of 2005. It is a means of not only telling how black one's skin is but also a way of detemining how black a person is by attitude. The scale works on a coordinate plane with the X-axis being skin tone, and the Y-axis being attitude. The scale is as follows.
The X-axis is (from 5,-5)are Where'd you go, get off my daughter, mahogany, beige, amarillo, yellow, tan, creme, pale & pasty, albino, and dry erase board.
I, S.M. Ransom have dealt with such critics before. I will add more as it develops. Please vote to save this article!
Redundant Array of Independent Coffee Makers (RAICM)
First conceived of by a group of technology professionals from Asbury College it was brought to reality when Rich Bowen actually implemented the design. The concept is similar to RAID technology, only applied to coffee makers.
The first RAICM was limited to only 6 coffee makers, but the experiment was successful and future RAICM's may include twice that number.
Further information can be found at: http://wooga.drbacchus.com/wordpress/?p=1063
From Third desk from the left in the second row from the back of Room 302, Bogstandard Junior School, Hamlet, Somerset
This is a classic example of a 1948 standard school desk. When last surveyed, in october 2004, it contained on its surface over 30 years' worth of graffiti and annotations. The large ink-stain in the supper right coner can be reliably dated to 1964, and to Hugh Bonsuera, who was infamous for using indelible inks. As can be noted, the inkwell itself has subsequently be stopped up (this was done in 1996 as a part of the Government-led drive towards illiteracy in schools, to ensure that the "working classes" simply claimed social benefits and dossed around the streets, in return for alwats voting the "right way" at elections, a proposal which foundered when it was realised that not educating them meant none of them knew what an election was or how to vote in one).
On the left side a series of pupils have assiduously recorded the names of the teachers for whom Room 302 has been homeroom.
- Mr.Winter 1927-1935
- Mr.Greggor 1935/6
- Miss Fandren 1937-1948
- Mr.Walker 1948-1954
- Mr.Crighton 1954-1962
- Mr.Kennedy 1962-1968
- Mr.King 1968-1974
- Mr.Presley 1975-1982
- Miss Quimleigh 1983-1984
- Mr.Fokker 1985-1986
- Mr.Wilson 1986-1990
- Mr.Heath 1990-1994
- Mr.Callaghan 1994-1997
- Mr.Major 1999-2003
- Mr.Biggs 2004-
[During 1997-1999 the room was used for the exhibition of the Duchess of Grantham Prize, awarded to the school for academic indifference]
Two attempts have been made to burn the desk, the first in 1804 when rioting Somerset farmers saw it as a pagan idol and set it alioght in an attemtp to drive out the evil spirits. The second was in 1911 as a result of a German Zeppelin raid (the ZK-048) whuich dropped incendiary chickens onto the school roof.
(More to be added later regarding the sociology, anthroposophy and diacritics of the desk)
Note: Talk page read: "Created to meet the request of User Haeleth, on afd 22:27 2 November 2005 (UTC)" (unsigned comment by User:SockpuppetSamuelson)
From Westview Centre
The Westview Safeway is employed by a colourful cast of characters, who are both full-time and part-time workers and vary in levels of cynicism and education. The break room is rather small in proportion to the number of people working there, and is lacking in a television with cable. Another quirk of this store is the fact that employees are expected to bring their own utensils to eat their lunches; if it was not for a few kind souls that spend an hours worth of pay on plastic forks, they would be forced to eat their meals with their bare hands. The store is notorious throughout the city because in October of 2004 a bear made its way into the back room of the store and was an adorable little cub. It was later shot and killed. It is interesting to note that within the last few months the music inside the store has changed from adult-contemporary to top 40/adult contemporary, a move that has been met with a mix of elation and skepticism. One time an employee stole the comfortable break room furniture. The deli food is of questionable qualit
From E (mathematical constant)
The Mathematical constant e is the base of the natural logarithm function. Its value to the 2000000th decimal digit is:
e = 2.718281828459045235360287471352662497757247093699959574966 967627724076630353547594571382178525166427427466391932003059 921817413596629043572900334295260595630738132328627943490763 [etc., followed by the rest of the original article, the whole article was 1992 KB.]
From Must Terd
Must Terd is two words that sound like Mustard, but indicate that someone must take a terd.
From Coca-Cola
On November 1 2005, a former Coca-Cola employee claimed that the drink contains high amounts of Hydrogen oxide. Hydrogen oxide is present in Acid rain and consuming large quantities of the substance causes severe damage or even death. Coca-Cola has urged consumers to stay calm, as they believe the quantities of hydrogen oxide in the drink are too small to pose a threat to an average user.
- Not original: see Dihydrogen monoxide.
Suebee stalker
The Suebee Stalker is the nickname given to the unknown man who writes anonymous messages in on the sixth floor of the south tower of Thomas Jefferson Hall, a dormitory at the University of Missouri-Rolla. The history of the Suebee Stalker is an interesting story and goes something like this.
When he was in high school, there was this fat kid named Michael Farris. In band class he was being teased and proclaimed, "Slap me silly and call me Susan!" So everyone started calling him Susan, and over time that evolved into "Suebee."
They called him Suebee for years, and after that got old, the Suebee Stalker began writing the word Suebee on the chalkboards: Image:TypicalSuebeeStalkerMessage.jpg
Michael eventually started noticing his name all over the school and said, "Who's this guy writing Suebee all over the place? He seems like a Suebee Stalker or something."
The name seemed catchy, so the Suebee Stalker took it and made a mark for himself:
Image:MarkOfTheSuebeeStalker.jpg
He also used this mark to take credit for other random anonymous messages he wrote. Michael honestly thought he was being stalked and got pretty paranoid. It took him forever to realize who it was, as they were pretty good friends. Once he figured out the Suebee Stalker's true identity, he thought it was hilarious, and started leaving Suebee Stalker messages as well.
His legacy lives on, as there are still traces of "Suebee" messages scattered across the high school. Now he attends college, and has carried the tradition there.
From Dale Winton
- The first paragraph is true, but the second... well...
He is not married to Nell McAndrew, contrary to popular belief, the "wedding" was part of a spoof documentary for BBC 3 called "Dale's Wedding" this is confirmed on Nell McAndrew's website, though remains a popular belief amongst many.
The reailty of the story is, he got married to his boyfriend(Robbie Williams) in texas, and are at the moment going for kids. Dale and Robbie are streaming all their money into an joint account owned by the "male experimental clinic" so that one day Dale could be planted with a womb and hopfully give birth.
From School dinner
Popular Foods for School Lunch/Dinner
- Hamburger on a Boon
- Chicken Nuggets (Actual amount of Chicken in Nuggets is Disputed)
- Poopperooni Pizza
- Peanut Butter & Smelly
- French Flies
- Milk
- Chicken Pootty
- Pees
- Water Like Substance
- Orange Drink
- Spaghetti with Sudan III
Ultimate Rock Paper Scissors
In this version, ANYTHING can be used. In most tournaments, the use of Mr. T is illegal since T ALWAYS wins, no exceptions. When two or more players use Mr. T, they both win. Any number of players can play. Ultimate RPS is Rock Paper Scissors without discrimination. At least one judge should be present, since most matchups will not have a clear winner. Any bribery involving the judge will result in hanging.
This is just plain stupid. Someone posted on my talk page trying to defend its use in camps as a teaching aid for rhetorical skills. Davidizer13 22:23, 4 November 2005 (UTC)
- This is, in a modified form, a great game to teach children to be creative and imaginative. It is also a good way to keep eight year olds occupied whenever you have spare time. A twist used to port the game to older boys, 10-11, involves the campers trying to come up with people or things that can beat Batman. The counselor has to explain why Batman would win. God or acts thereof, Natural disasters, Transformers, and respected members of the camp administration are off limits as they beat Batman by default. This may sound stupid to you, but that is only because you were deprived of, or conversely renounced and blocked memories of, the joys of being an adolescent at summer camp. 132.162.209.220 20:08, 7 December 2005 (UTC)
Mugwin
A Mugwin is a furry little ewok type character with a fondness for sausages. The plural for Mugwin is Mugwin. Mugwin sleep for twenty hours a day and have a life span of three hundred human years. Mugwin are solitary creatures and, if provoked, will come back and steal your biscuits and other foodstuffs in acts of passive-aggressive sabotage. Mugwin do not know the difference between psilocybin mushrooms and any other kind of food. Mugwin can see in the dark and has excellent hearing, being able to discern a Muse riff from over half a mile away. They don't like eggs. Mugwin invented beer, kebabs, and Courtney Cox. The musky smell of a mugwin has been proven to be irresistible to women and, as such, they have been hunted ruthlessly by Ralph Lauren. Thankfully, Ralph couldn't hit a barn with a blunderbuss at point blank range and at this time of writing the millionaire fashion magnate has only bagged two Mugwin successfully (and both of those were stupid Mugwin who wanted to score some free cologne.)
Mugwin are everywhere and growing in numbers. It is said that no city dweller is ever more than thirty feet away from a Mugwin at any one time.
Laugh now, but one day they'll be in charge.
From Terran Militia
The Terran militia is a group organised by robert kasper in freeberg IL the following is a list of statistics on this group. Active units: 12 Hand book - zombie survival guide by Mel brooks Mission - prepare for and combat the coming zombie threat Motto - animo exanimis aversabilis ab abeo
Members and rank
- Master Sergeants-1 Robert Kasper
- First Class Sergeants-0
- Staff Sergeants-0
- Sergeants-2 Grant Mitchell, Mark Benton
- Corporals-4 Sam Weber, Andrew McDonald, Alex Rockwell, Steve Ketter,
- Privates-5 Adam Grungier, Frank Soltys, Chris Andrews, Tom McDonald, Dan Eppel,
Squads
- A squad Grant Mitchell, Alex Rockwell, Steve Ketter, Adam Grungier, Frank Soltys,
- B squad Mark Benton, Sam Weber, Andrew McDonald, Chris Andrews, Tom McDonald,
- Unclassified Dan Eppel,
artical by boatman666
Wow, i almost wish i'd thought of this "Zombie Patrol" first! --Quadraxis 16:40, 5 November 2005 (UTC)
From Pittsburgh Passion
The Pittsburgh Passion Women's Football team is the worst team in the worst team in WNFL.
From Burger King
- Today, the current spokesperson per se is the King. He has cereal killer esque persona. He waits for you to wake up and he might try to push you off of a building, but he's only kidding. He also carries sandwiches to give to his victims.***
The speedied Brent and bekah hisayasu
Hello, all of you with nothing better to do...
Welcome to my "I'm the luckest guy in the world". Yes that is right i am the luckiest guy in the world. So you may ask, "why sir, are you the luckiest guy in the world?" well here is your answer...
see, I am the homely guy on the letf, and the sweet thing to my left is my fiance'... He he he...
Except i don't believe in luck, God has blessed...
Someone got annoyed @ his neighbors...
Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder)is a man with a passion for annoying others around him. He is famous for cruising up and down Wabansia Ave in his rather old Mercedes Benz, which as of the date this article was published had 90,000 miles on it - 88,000 of which were driven up and down on wabansia passing Mazzone South.
Some say he is the most annoying person alive. Others believe that there is something wrong with him and feel bad and talk to him.
He was born in the year 1969 in a small town called Lake Boca Vista Di Bano el Gordo Pollo. He led a very boring childhood - he did not participate in sports, he had no friends, he did not go to school as he was home schooled but his parents forgot to teach to him. Absolutely NOTHING happened in his life until the great year 2004, when his cousin Ollie married Anthony. He then had somebody to talk to and because Anthony had a great big group of friends of family - this was a great opportunity for Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) to meet new people to annoy and possibly meet some dudes to have sex with.
Once he was brought around Anthony's family and friends, he was mostly rejected and not accepted. This however did not stop Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) from coming around. Although never invited to any social functions and gatherings, he mysteriously shows up and annoys everyone. He will often interject rather amusing conversations with his one or two liners that are not funny, inappropriate and quite frankly stupid. He will then follow such nonsense with his glazed stare that has been rumored to kill a baby racoon that was rummaging through a garbage can in search of food. It has been said that Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) has taken the look known as akward second and turned it into the akward 5 minutes.
He is mostly hated by the Birdman, for Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) had frequented the Birdman's house and made rather rude comments about the proximity of Birdman's to a factory. He engaged in sexual intercourse with Birdman and did not extend a reach a around to him. And worst of all, he played Sopranos Pinball without first taking off his clothes.
Another who is known to dislike Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) is Don Assman of the Don Sheepdawg famiglia. It is a known fact that Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) enjoys resting his shoulder on DOn Assman's shoulder while he is palying in high stakes poker games.
Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) now spends his days driving up and down Wabansia Avenue in his Mercedes Benz with 90,000 miles. When his car is being repaired, which is more often than not becuase it is so old and quite frankly a piece of junk, Paul will ride his bike up and down Wabansia at which times he is know as the Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The Bike Intruder). At other desperate times he has resorted to renting a car in order to drive Wabansia Ave and is then known as Paul the X Mile Budget Rent A Car Intruder). (note insert the number of miles on the rental car for the X).
Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) is also known to spend most of his time when not crusing Wabansia Ave in the hot tub with Zuch Dog the Room Lamp. It has been said that while in the hot tub with Zuch Dog the Room Lamp, Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) thinks about the Birdman and Benzo Bentley Lorezno the 4 Door Whore having anal sex in a hot tub in Indiana, who are thinking about Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder) and Zuch DOg the Room Lamp having sex in their hot tub, while Ollie is making polish mistakes and rubbing velveeta cheese all over her body.
To learn more about Paul (Anthony & Ollie's Cousin The 90,000 Mile Benz Intruder)please read the article "The Most Annoying Man Alive" or hang out on Wabansia Ave.
From Honey
- Typical Honey Analysis
- Vomit: 38%
- Glucose: 31%
- Sucrose: 1%
- Water: 17%
- Other sugars: 9% (Maltose, Melezitose)
- Ash: 0.17%
- Source: Sugar Alliance
Also From Honey (same vandal)
Honey looks like it and taste it like Vomit.
Idlewells Shopping Centre
Used be called something else and was a concrete prefab monstrosity although i liked the little pyramid building that led to the underground car park. Also it's most proberly named after the little river that runs underneath it (you can see it if you walk through the allyway next to the bank and news agent near the sundial and keep going towards the supermarket carpark, it on the left where the fence is).
Groovy. Just point me to the food court. Thanks. - Lucky 6.9 07:34, 6 November 2005 (UTC)
Geoffrey Camanzo
Born in 1936, Geoffrey Camanzo, more commonly known as Geoff, is most famous for defeating all of the Japanese Kamikaze air-bombers in Pearl Harbor in 1941. He completed this feat using only one M-16 and easily destroyed the Japanese in under 16 minutes. He co-wrote the cirtically acclaimed "The Anime Encyclopedia" with long time friend Mao ZeDong. He holds the world record in many categories including, under-water wrestling (a sport he created in his sleep), llama racing, and fetus abortion. He was the first person to perform an abortion using only his left fist. He was the charter member of the HUAC, famous for Communist hunting during the 1950's in the United States. He also just bought the United Nations.
Geoffrey also has a very long nose, much like Pinocchio.
Wikiproject Hot Chicks
See Wikipedia:BJAODN/WikiProject hot chicks
Conventbox
CONVENTBOX
TO BEGIIN EXPLAINING WHAT IS CONVENT BOX MEANS TO BEGIN MENTIONING THE ANCIENT ISRAEL.BIBLE & OTHER SOURCES SAY THAT WHEN MOSSES LEAD ISRAALETES TO FREEDOM FROM EGYPT THE GOD HIMSELF GAVE THEM THE RULES TO FOLLOW.THE CONVENT BOX CONSIST OF THIS RULES WRITEN IN A STONE PLATE which IS KEPT IN A BOX WITH STATUES OF TWO ANGLES.THIS WAS CONSIDERED TO BE THE SOLE OF ISRAEL.A MAN WITH SIN CAN NOT TOCH IT AS IT WAS GODS RULE AND ANYONE WHO TRIED WAS KILLED BY GOD.BUT LATER THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS CONVENT BOX FADED.BUT IT STILL HAD ITS OWN SIGNIFICANCE IN THE HISTORY OF ISRAEL.
BUT AFTER THE TIME OF THE JUDGES THIS WENT TO MANY HANDS & EACH TIME IT RETURNED.AT THE TIME OF JESUS THIS WAS IN THE GREAT TEMPLE OF ISRAEL .BUT AFTER THE DISTRACTION OF JERUSHELAM THIS WS TAKEN AWAY ANE IS HIDDEN SINCE THIS VERY DAY.
THREE MAIN GESSES ARE MADE OF WHAT HAPPEND TO IT
1)TO ISRAEL ITSELF
SOME BELIVE THAT IT IS STILLIN JERUSHALAM ITSELF BUT HIDDEN IN THE RUINS.
2)MAY HAVE BEEN DESTROYED
MANY BELIVE THAT THIS COULD HAVE BEEN DESTROYED BECAUSE IT WAS MADE OF SOLID GOLD.
3)IN ETIOPIA
ETIOPIANS GIVE A VERY IMPORTANT ROLE TO THIS BOX.THEY SAY THAT THE BOX IS WITH THEM.BUT THEY DOES NOT PERMIT ANY ONE OTHER THAN A CHOOSEN PRIEST TO ENTER INTO THE PLACE WHERE IT IS KEPT.IT IS KEPT AS A TREASURE IN A SMALL TEMPLE SOMEWHERE IN ETHIOPIA.
Eric Troolin
Eric Troolin is one of the most influential artists of the 21st century currently typing this sentence.
From the Reference desk
If all the surface bacteria on your skin jumped up and down, how long would it take you to change direction? alteripse 18:39, 7 November 2005 (UTC)
- May I BJAODN this question? Please?? :-) --HappyCamper 01:44, 8 November 2005 (UTC)
- No, you may not. No matter how stupid the idea might seem to some, considering how long it takes educated people to figure it out, it is at least a useful mental excercise. The notion of conservation of energy appears to be a tricky one. DirkvdM 10:38, 8 November 2005 (UTC)
From Ruby on Rails
Rails' guiding principles include "Don't Repeat Yourself," "Convention Over Configuration" and "Don't Repeat Yourself".
- We might use that principle in Wikipedia too...
From Template:Pokerefs
From Marco Polo
Marco Polo was born in Massachusets in 3003!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marco discovered the watermelon.His room wascovered with ponys!!!!! Ohh, how much he loved ponys. He also loved this boy named Pat Frasher. Marco Polo died in 1254. In a pony acictent!!!!!!!!!!!
from Mandatory detention in Australia
i like cheese and monkies
What time do we have dinner ? im having dinner soon i think..... LONG LIVE QUEEN
Fear me you lords and lady preachers I descend upon your earth from the skies I command your very souls you unbelievers Bring before me what is mine The seven seas of Rhye
Can you hear me you peers and privy councillors I stand before you naked to the eyes I will destroy any man who dares abuse my trust I swear that you'll be mine At the seven seas of Rhye
Sister I live and lie for you Mister do and I'll die You are mine I possess you Belong to you forever
Storm the master marathon I'll fly through By flash and thunder fire I'll survive I'll survive I'll survive Then I'll defy the laws of nature And come out alive
Begone with you you shod and shady senators Give out the good, leave out the bad evil cries I challenge the mighty titan and his troubadours And with a smile I'll take you to the seven seas of Rhye
yay go seven seas of rhye!!! thnks mike 4 addin the lyrics to this beautiful site :D:D:D im a happy chap!!!!!!!!
From Undergarment
In the future underwear will be abolished and replaced by foil lining. This will be used to guard from a new kind of weaponry design by Dr Fred McDougal of the University of Arizona which will emit STD's. Beware!!!
From Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton made his fortune by farming cheese in Texas. He bought one hundred acres of land from a one armed mexican shepard. He then started Parmesean Farm which was guarded by rabid forest giraffes. He then sold the farm to Michael Jackson for 8 magic beans.Clinton&diff=0&oldid=27843445 |http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Bill Clinton&diff=0&oldid=27843445]
From Max McKinney
Basically he is the coolest person on earth. He wrote the sequal to the Bible, Jesus's Revenge when he was 11 years old. He married the Greek goddess Aphrodite when he was 15. He is currently holding the positions of Coolest person on earth, Best Person on Earth in the general category. He also runs the Best Webpage on earth, http://badmotel.bravehost.com. He won 32 gold medals in the 2011 Summer and Winter Olympics. Hellza Yeah.
Early Life-
He was born in a small city called NâĦÍßşťξ on the tenth moon of Jupiter. He was an outcast as he grew up because he was was cooler and smarter then all the other kids and all he ever wanted was acceptance while all the other kids ever wanted was for him to like them. Were they to realize what each other was thinking there would have been a joyous celebration and all would have a cake to remember the day they met the coolest kid in the universe.
Later Life-
When Max was 5 he discovered the cure for the common cold, and gave all the technology to god in exchange for a lolly pop. With no more research to do he went into the movie bussiness. He starred in, directed, and producted his first movie at 3 years of age. The movie, The Bible, was a huge hit and later had a book written after it and a sequal in book form also written by Max.
After Death -
Max McKinney died at the age of 302 in 3015. Directly after his death he climbed the stairway to heaven in record time finishing at an amazing -3:71. After he got to heaven he hung out with some of his homies for about three million years untill he got bored of eternal bliss and went to scope out Hell. He kicked the crap out of satin at a tété et tété game of halo and hence became the new devil. He quickly sold to himself so he could play the guitar better then anyone ever.
After After Death -
With his new skill at the guitar he went on tour with Queen and sold more albums then any other single man ever could ever. In the year 2793 he finally got tired of playing the guitar and lay himself once again to rest on April fourty-second.
From Pig in the pocket
To understand the concept of having a pig in the pocket, one must delve into the inner workings of just what a pig in the pocket is. A pigtail is a commonly used electrical device whereby lights and whatnot are plugged in. It's quite useful for an electrician to carry an abundant supply of pigtails on his person, and naturally the pockets are a prime locale to store them.
First coined in late 2003, the pig in the pocket phenomenon has gained massive momentum thanks to one spunky Welsh electrican who inundated local airwaves with his spirited infomercials demonstrating his PocketPig invention. While the PocketPig was a massive failure, his famous catchphrase "GOT A PIG IN THE POCKET?" inspired countless copycats and imitators.
As of mid-2005, the phrase has also taken on the double-meaning of transporting pork products on one's person.
posted on the main BJAODN page
Come to Switzerland, try our møøse!! They are being very nice. Our Møøse are nice und clean!!! Yøu vill find yøurselves very pleased vith øur møøse pøpulation!!! And øur pretty scenery!!
From the Reference Desk
I'm in big trouble. My laborador retriever just withdrew all the money in my bank account so she could start a NASCAR team. What am I going to do?
British diplomatic peace proposes also political struggle between Toho Kai and Kodoha groups in 1942
Text of the article with the above title, a prime example of incomprehensible translation:
This if refer about one suppose British attempt to British government to propose peace agreement at Japan during febrary 1942,when theirs recent losses your possesions of Malaya and Singapur,also theirs treated to stopped the Japanese menace over your most important possesion, Australia.
At same time such secret diplomatic movement,also was to public knowledge,this provoqued one political confrontation between the most important rigth-wing movements in period,the "Tohokai" and the official movement in government,the Kodoha party.such figth was represent the most serious confrontation against official policies in overseas for part of one party in oposition in country.
The Falling of Singapur and Dutch Indies poses grave consequences at British Empire in Far East,along the loss of Prince of Wales and Repulse (Gross of "Z Force")and abandon of Malay,England receiving some extreme heavy blow in your Empire,and was putting in extreme danger at Australia.
British seeing the direct Japanese menace against Australian soil when by secret diplomatic channels during febrary 16,1942 secret peace proposes in separate with Japan. between the points England if formally compromised to reconoited the autority of Empire of Sunrise over northern China,also conducted to United States at analogue conditions at change of petitioned of return to British sovereing over Malaca and Singapur.
Such conversations was provoqued in Japan one decisive figth between the most important rigth-wing Cliques in country;was possibly were the last political thinking figth against movement in government service in period,before at Coral Sea,Midway andGuadalcanal military defeats.
The ultranationalists and opened fascists grouping Toho kai led by Nakano Seigo,(appareing poses some political influence in time,also poses certain Japanese Navy support) stayed anxious to approved such conversations with British for making stabilization policy of recent conquests in Southeast Asia,also feared prevent any more sacrifices of own people,presured to Civil Government for stopped the great ambition poses the Imperial State Major in ampled such conquest.in other hand stay the Imperial Way Faction, party were represent the militarists interests,led by proper own Prime Minster of Japan General Hideki Tojo,poses totally diffrent poitn of seeing over question.
Theirs opined why the rapid sucesses obtain in recent campaings in Southeast Asia in very short time,permit grown more hopes conquest plans,also Tojo affirmed,can possibly conquest more vasts spaces before at U.S. responses and are sufficent weak for content at your enemies of Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere.
Proper Own prime minister Tojo at final inclined for last opinion and rejected such mentioned peace proposes and guiving autorization at your ambitious strategists the political figth between mentioned leaders,continuing until june 1943,when Nakano Seigo conmmited suicide in October 27,1943.
When Japan rejected such peace proposes,loss the possibly unique oportunity to mantain in Southeast Asian under Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere Alliance,for long time,also reinforce your recent conquest and yor post in land probably United States,was reconoited "de facto",these new temporary "status quo"for sometimes,for less stayed reinforzed for realizing adequate counterofensive.
The Japanese militarist caste, your civil partners,along Japanese subjects was drunken with rapid victories.the proper spech of General Tojo,during febrary 16,1942,translated your great hegemonical dreams.
- And it goes without saying that all your base are belong to us and somebody set up us the bomb, as well.
Baby food
A disambiguation notice from the top of Baby food:
- For babies as food, see Cannibalism.
(food&diff=27966439&oldid=25593740 |diff])
From James
Image:James has no face!!!!-.JPG James is a person on Pokemon. He has blue hair, or maybe it's purple. He owns this big disgusting thing named Wheezing that spits out icky sludge and this giant dead fish named Victory Bell that trys to eat him.
James has tons of shrines for him up all over the internet. He has a goofy voice that sounds like my Pap imitating his voice. His friend Jessie has this red hair that comes off for a few feet and curls very cartoon-like. They like each other.
James also lost his face the day he went to an Ebay auction. I feel sorry for him. The end.
From: BJAODN
From BJAODN
From BJAODN
From BJAODN
From BJAODN
...
ad infinitum.
From the McDonalds page
- McGreasy. Introduced in (2005), this popular menu item was heralded for its "high flavour cotnent", but criticised by dieticians for its unhealthy content. Was quickly discontinued following the death of Michael Moore.
From "Clown"
A clown today is one of various household appliances that are attempting to form unions so that they can malfunction often, sleep late,and recieve high quality insurance.
Symbolist manifesto
the symbolist manifesto is a very confusing article about symbolism which is a very confusing art form especially in russia and europe down with grishinism (hairy john cleese
From |God]
The Biblical God's full name is usually given as Ronald God, and he is usually characterized as being married to Thomas the Nun, an 80-year-old holy woman. Together they are said by some manuscripts to have one son, Zeke, but some scholars argue that Zeke God is intended as a symbolic character rather than a concrete personage.
From Mallpunk
Let's get one thing clear right now: this article is not a GUIDE on how to actually become a mall punk, that is, DO NOT FOLLOW THIS GUIDE AND BECOME A MALL PUNK. There are several reasons for this, the first being that mall punks are absolutely fucking lame. Second, if you actually follow a guide to become a certain image, especially the mall punk image, you are even lamer than Jeff. Besides, everyone knows that to be cool these days, you have to be scream-o. Third, like I said, this article is intended for entertainment purposes only; it has no educational value whatsoever.
Tools of the Trade This section is devoted to the things you will need to have on your body before you head over to your local mall. Some of these items may be purchased at the mall once you arrive or at a drugstore that is on the way to the mall, but all items, with some exceptions, are crucial to the desired look.
Cranium Accessories 1) Stiff Hair Gel- I'm talking spiky and offensive! It's your duty as a mall punk to disgust and annoy fellow mall mates with your wild and crazy hairdo. Under no circumstances should you attend the mall without an ounce of gel in your hair. Other considerations for offensive hair are beeswax, pomade, glue, egg whites, semen, or bird shit. As long is it is large and in charge, the people will be whispering about how weird and dangerous you are. Isn't that the goal of being a mall punk anyway?
2) Colored Hair Spray- Colored hair spray is a great addition to your head wardrobe and adds life to your spiky hairdo. There are many brands of hair spray, but the most cost effective brand I found was Punky Colour. It was about three dollars and one can covered one head. This is one of the products you can find at your local drugstore. A good idea, if you have a buddy going out punking with you, is to buy two different colors and share the bottles. This way, you can intensify the offensiveness with two colors! Two shades are better than one, just make sure that they clash. Everybody in the mall knows that if you use complementary colors, you're just a tool of the man! Under no circumstances should you actually dye your hair. Your parents will be upset, and they won't drive you to the mall anymore. Don't piss off the person that has the ability to ground you. Besides, hair dye is much too permanent for the budding young mall punk who should jump from trend to trend like a little frog jumps from lily pad to lily pad.
Torso Accessories This section allows for a little more originality than the last section. While every mall punk worth his or her salt absolutely has to have spiky, colored hair, they can use their imagination for the torso area.
1) Jacket- The jacket can be anything from a green Hess jacket (like my friend Aaron had) to a tan fishing jacket with lots of pockets to a sleeveless denim jacket. It really doesn't matter what the jacket is, unless of course it is leather. Leather jackets go against everything that the mall punk stands for: ANARCHY IN THE SHOPPING MALL! The important thing to remember about the jacket is what things you put ON the jacket. If you want to look lean and mean in your punk apparel, you must add patches. The patches can be homemade or actual band patches. Here's how to make your own: Directions for Patch Making Punkers (This is called DIY! An important part of your punk cred!) 1) Find an old pair of blue jeans. 2) Find an old pair of scissors. 3) Find an old permanent marker. 4) Take old scissors and cut old blue-jeans into patch sized tid-bits. 5) Use old permanent marker to write band names and draw band logos. 6) YOU JUST MADE YOUR FIRST PATCH! Now, that you've got patches, you have to put them on your desired jacket! The preferred method of patch placement is the use of safety pins (danger pins as they're called in the dark, mall punk underworld). Fuck that iron-on bullshit. Mall punks don't even own ironsâ₦their parents do.
3) Homemade or Dead Kennedy's T-Shirt - To tell you the truth, I haven't seen may mall punks with homemade t-shirts. I was the only asshole who did that lame shit. Can you guess what my shirt said? If you guessed, "The Man á The Legend â," then you would be wrong but if you guessed, "PUNX NOT DEAD," then you would be correct! Anyhow, the real deal would be the Dead Kennedy's t-shirt. This is actually just a generalization for any t-shirt purchased at Hot Topic or from some sort of "punk rock" mail order catalogue. All with your parents money, of course.
4) Backpack - If you choose to wear a backpack, make sure it's missing a strap, the zippers do not work, and there is a huge hole in it somewhere. Don't worry, you'll keep it together with safety pins. You'll also want to write every band name you can think of in white-out, even if you don't like them. Don't forget to wear it at every show!
Lower Extremities Accessories 1) Pants Cut Into Shorts - Preferably Dickies, but any style of jeans or pants will suffice. Just remember to leave the strands hanging off. You're not going to be a capitalist tool and buy shorts from shorts makers. You're going to make your own shorts from pants makers. Stick a patch on there if you're feeling really "punk." Fight the system!
2) Studded Belt - Every self-respecting mall punk has one of these bad boys. Remember, one or two of the spikes must be missing to give it that authentic punk feel. This gives the impression that you didn't just buy this at a store in the mall, you've had this belt your whole life. If you did just buy this at a store in the mall, then take off a couple spikes to preserve your authenticity. Hot Topic sells these studded belts. Make sure to shop there at least once a week while telling all your friends how you wouldn't be caught dead within thirty feet of the place unless it was to smash it in a fit of RIGHTOUS ANARCHY!
3) Wallet Chain - The wallet chain not only functions as an attractive addition to your punk persona, but as a weapon as well. Whenever those "crazy rap kids" are making fun of your hairdo, you can whip this out, hit 'em, and run! Don't get caught or you could get strangled by your own weapon, you fucking pussy. Oh, and about that wallet attached to the chain. Make sure to write an anarchy sign on it with a Sharpie, or if it's black leather just carve that shit in it with a knife. It's even more punk that way. Store clerks will cringe in horror at how punk your money is (especially if you write anti-American slogans, like "This will be the death of you." on the bills).
4) Shoes - If you don't wear Vans, you're not a mall punk. Vans puts on the Warped Tour, and there's nothing more punk than that. You might be able to get by wearing some Converse All Stars, but people may mistake you for emo. FUCK THE SYSTEM!
CD's To Own Here's a list of bands you must claim to own at LEAST one album from. They are in no particular order. - NOFX - Rancid - Dead Kennedys - Operation Ivy - Any band on Fat Wreck Chords (namely No Use For A Name and Lagwagon) - Any band on Drive Thru Records, but especially Midtown and New Found Glory - Black Flag (to show you've got roots [this requires that you know who Henry Rollins is, you poser fuck]) - Green Day (Dookie or earlier) - Many, many compilations with at least 30 songs each (This will allow you to name drop and keep up with any conversation you start. This will let you hear at least one shitty song by every shitty band in existence.) - Any band on this year's Vans Warped Tour - Pennywise - A "Before You Were Punk" CD (but you must hate Vagrant records) - Screeching Weasel - Gutter "The Worst Band In Existence" Mouth
How to Act Once You Get To the Mall Ok, now you have everything you need to be a mall punk. Here are some anecdotes (stories, for you dumb shits) from my days as a mall punk that may help you in figuring out what to do once you get to the mall.
First thing's first, you have to try your hardest to annoy everyone around you. You can accomplish this in several ways such as doing a pointless dance every few feet, sliding off the edge of those rectangular bench things that have plants in the middle, or saying "Good Morrow" to every passing person with your hands clasped in front of you like you're fucking punk rock Friar Tuck. Remember, this shit isn't silly, it's punk rock.
Here's an example of what not to do because under no circumstances are you to get kicked out of the mall. It was a special day in the mall when various small businesses were allowed to set up stands to sell items and give out free balloons. Of course we picked up some balloons to make our voices all high pitched because helium voices are totally punk rock. So there we are, holding our punk rock balloons and engaging in some pleasurable small talk, when our friend Hosein (not Saddam) throws a tooth pick at my balloon, popping it and making a loud noise. Inbred mall security showed up to kick us out because we were disturbing the other mall goers or some shit like that. Anyway, the point is, balloons are no longer punk rock because they get you kicked out of the mall.
Radio is not punk, dude.
A great way to get a few laughs that aren't directed at your ridiculous outfit is to bring along some fake dog crap and lay it out at random store entrances. First they will be flabbergasted, then they will be disgusted, then they will see an asshole sitting nearby laughing and realized they've been duped by the forces of pure anarchy. FIGHT THE SYSTEM!
THE END
Remember, these rules don't mean anything if you can't get a ride to the mall
Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/SPUI
Requests for adminship/SPUI has the following meanings:
From Chicken
I eat chicken poop for dinner because it is part of my medicine i need to take for my disease
From Dog
The dog in the future
Dogs as we know them today are land animals but they are quickly turning in to beasts of the air, developing wings and their own means of flying,This is being practiced all across the world and a new breed of dog called Canis Aviensis which in English is called Birddog.These dogs have wings two sets to be precise, one set growing where the ears usualy are and another growing from their hips which holds their body in place while flying. The tail of these Birddogs have grown a paddle like lump which is used as a kind a kind of rudder to guide them threw the air. they have also been spotted nesting in big packs of other Birddogs which is has been kept from their primative times, like their ancestors the wolves.they usually take nest in Japanes maple trees because of their big leaves, which protect these flying dogs from weathering. these Japaness Maples probly provide shelter much like the kenells used by their unfortunate relatives.We have heard from FatherChristams that he has found these amazing beast of the air, and has started introducing a strain of Huskies to this breed of dog because of their ability to pull sledges and better for an arctic climate and of course magnificent blue eyes which shimmer in the frosty christmas sky.Also can be used as a torch to find your way around in the dark. We have had a recent qouate from Saint Nick himself "These beautiful creatures maybe taking the place of my raindeers apart from being more obident they are less dangerous and more streamline.I am breeding my new found friends with Huskies because of their neon blue eyes which will guide me through the snow." So it looks like it's good bye red noses, hello neon blue eyes.
Robert Yates (NASCAR Team Owner)
Robert Yates is attributed this quote. However I am not sure if he is a NASCAR team owner, a Judge from New York, or someone else. Hopefully someone out in Wiki land can fix this.
Gosh, no need to be so darn specific.--D-Day 15:37, 12 November 2005 (UTC)
From Hînceşti
|This version] reads: "Hînceşti is a Town without a University in the part of Moldova not included within Transnistria. It is not among the largest towns of Moldova."
From Nancy Drew
Nancy Drew is actually 91 years old as of now, surprisingly she has not shown any signs of aging. This now means that Nancy Drew has somehow managed to find Eternal Youth, which still hasn't been discovered. She has oftentimes been asked by Acme to catch the world renouned thief Carmen Sandiego, yet surprisingly she has denied every offer to help put Carmen Sandieigo into custody. Currently Nancy Drew still looks like she is 16 years old and is still solving mysteries but is refusing to give any names or locations pertaining to her Eternal Youth. It's known that she's had relationships with one of the Hardy Boys, who have also shown signs of Eternal Youth. However it is unknown which one of the Hardy Boys she is currently dating.
from Acrobaldgenic Seizure
An extremely rare form of seizure caused by extremes of temperature at the frontal lobe of the brain, often due to a lack of hair cover on the victims head. During an attack the victim suffers symptoms similar to that seen during an epileptic fit, but is likely to remain in a semi-conscious state until the seizure has ended.
Precursors to Acrobaldgenic seizures are often experienced as sharp pains throughout the frontal cranium, visual impairment and sensory disfunction.
Medical treatment can be given to directly combat the effects during and immediately after a seizure, however preventative measures are often prescribed to reduce the frequency and severity of attacks. These measures typically aim to reduce the changes in temperature within the frontal lobe by insulating the head.
Max Darby
Maxwell Darby, also known as the "Whispering Death" killed like fifty-billion Koreans in the Great War. Sadaam's chemicals made him freakishly large, enabling him to dual-wield chainsaws, which was his weapon of choice.
After killing Koreans for a decade, Maxwell invented the taco which is now enjoyed by people that aren't Mexican everywhere.
Don Quixote mistook Maxwell Darby for a windmill because of his size and chainsaw wielding arms, and was owned. Out to revenge, Don Quixote later mistook a windmill for Maxwell. It owned him as well.
Later in Maxwell Darby's life, he became the communist leader of Moldova, his motherland. There is where he invented the wheel and a tasty recipe for scalloped potatoes. He also released killer wallabies he trained to do his biddings to put the Moldolvans in the kitchen where they belonged.
In 2089, after the war with the alien robot master, Maxwell Darby died of massive robot diarrhea and Tuberculosis.
The internationalism in deleting gas station articles
Racetrac Gas Station in Miami Gardens
Its obvious --JAranda | watz sup 02:45, 14 November 2005 (UTC) ...
Keep, counters systemic bias introduced by Commonwealth Wikipedians writing about "petrol stations".Um, I don't even need to vote, do I? — Haeleth Talk 14:15, 14 November 2005 (UTC)
Puddy Tat Twouble
The Declaration of Independance An explanation of why tweety is breaking away from the puddy tatt. All birds are created equally. God gave all birds certain rights. They have the right to live, the right to freedom, and the right to persue happiness. the govenments job is to protect those rights. If the government wont protect human rights, birds have the right amd the duty to overthrow the government so that it is protected. A government can only work if the birds agree to be governed. A list of wrongs committed by Big Bird against the cat. Big Bird wouldn't listen to the bird's complaints. Big Bird wouldn't allow the birds a voice in the government. The Big Bird sent troops in times of peace and made the birds feed and house the cats. The Big Bird made the birds pay a variety of taxes without their agreement to those taxes. The Big Bird made the prisoners go to Florida to be tried in court so they wouldn't get a fair trial. At the same time if a cat official got in trouble, he would get a trial in Florida getting him out of trouble. Big Bird cut off all trade to the cats. The Big Bird wouldn't allow cats to move west past their homeland. The Big Bird captured cat merchants at sea and forced them to fight against their own men. The birds are declaring they are free and independant animals. The cats are now free of Florida's rule. The cats are a new nation of states. They will fight for their freedom if need be. I t