Imagine a world in which every single person is given free access to bad jokes and other deleted nonsense.
From Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
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Parodies the unofficial motto on Meta's home page.
| Feel free to add BJAODN to the newest page, but cite the source you got those Bad Jokes from. Thank you. |
From 30th century
In the year 3000 the simpsons becomes a reality and takes over the world
From Bill Oddie
- Madonna infamously paid tribute to the former Goodie in her 1992 single Erotica with the lines "Bill Oddie/Bill Oddie/Put your hands all over my body".
Live from Talk:White People
SALUTATIONS FROM MAGNAGERMANIA
Salutations from MAGNAGERMANIA: The WHITEMANTIS is proud to announce that we will be deploying three wikidecimation divisions this following weekend the purpose of which will be to sow quantitative chaos and qualitative destruction in the textual environs of field White people, field Caucasoid, field Black people, field Guernica, and field Rothschild. Come for the show, stay for the recriminations and blockings.ProximusPrime
- What?! No, seriously what are you talking about? SignaturebrendelNow under review! 03:23, 22 November 2006 (UTC)
Pretty funny stuff. Also, what's funny is my subspace Czech it out. -->. - Nö†$®åM 03:31, 22 November 2006 (UTC)
Response to a vandalism revert on an unnamed userpage.
Note: Vandal forged the second response, trying to play it off like the user himself responded back to him...
well done, dickhead. I suppose you're one of only 6000 people who rushed out and bought K-Fed's album?! Give me a break - he deserves all the shit he is given. What are you some kind of net-social-justice vigilante? Get a friggin life and enjoy the best years of your high school life instead of being stuck behind a pc. Template:Unsigned
- nice try, cockbreath...wait and see what happens when you 'attempt' to prevent me from doing my thing. Sweet FUCK ALL! So go back to jerking off to K-Fed videos....and let me do what I like doing (which is not fucking up useful intereting pages that are of real intellectual substance).Template:Unsigned
Let's fight each other on wikipedia
A school IP was blocked for vandalism and the school contacted. The IT admins of said school took care of the perpertrator. Sadly, this person wasn't the only lamer at school as others seem to think wikipedia articles are an instant messenger. Watch while two kids, Cory and Leo duke it out on thec Asian lady beetle article, here Special:Contributions/66.99.53.29 or specifically [1] [2] [3] [4] until eventually someone blanked the page [5] then someone asked the eternal question [6] Oh and let's not forget this edit about a huge penis [7] Gosh so who's the greatest loser who has no friends? Maybe it's both Cory and Leo? Nil Einne 13:45, 22 November 2006 (UTC)
From Popular sayings of the 1970's
"What'choo talkin' abou', Willis?"
"Far Fucking Out!"
"Virgins for everybody!"
"FUCKING HIPPIES!"
"We are the Knights who say, "Ni"!"
"I will say, "Ni" again, if you do not bring me a shrubbery! Now gooo!"
"We are now the Knights who say, "Ekey Ekey Ekey Ekey Bing Bang Bong Bam Booosh Val Mooooom!"
"I know that guy is a king! He hasn't got shit all over him."
"In other news, President Nixon has resigned due to being a [expletive deleted]." --Gerald R. Ford
"Frankly, I would have prefered if you hadn't known that I was a crook." --Richard M. Nixon
"I get horny when I read, think about, look at, or even mention my books." --Dr. Suess.
"I. Am. HYPOCRITICAL!" --Dr. Suess.
"Hey, toots! Nice ass! Got a licsense for it!" --still Dr. Suess.
"Remember kids, rob banks and you'll be be filthy rich!" --STILL Dr. Suess.
"The Cat in the hat was originally a pornogrophist as I was going to write horny books but my wife made me write books for stupid 3-year-olds!" --you guessed it, Dr. Suess
"I grope teddy bears!" --Quigley Quagmire
"Romeo, why didn't you just bash Juliet in the head for having such a fake voice and talking so sappily?"
"Fucking teahumpers. You should all be fucking ashamed of your fucking selves for acting so fucking stupid and fucking implicit. Stop being so fucking polite, that isn't what we fucking kids do. Fuck with fucking kid's fucking langugae and the fucking shit be on, fuckers!" --Beaver from Leave it to Beaver
"So, who else thinks that The Brady Bunch is stupid?"
"Let's kill!" --Lyndon B. Johnson.
From Wikipedia
Wikipedia is an unreliable web based encyclopedia which only an idiot would accept as a legitimate reference.
Fortunately the internet is full of idiots.
Delete United States...
From Grosse Pointe North High School
On November 5, 2006, the newly built science wing of Grosse Pointe North High School caught fire after several flares were ignited and placed on the roof of the school by three sophomores. The fire burned a six foot hole into the roof, and damaged the rooms below. Approximately 20 other flares were found scattered on other parts of the school's roof. The flares were thought to have been stolen from a bus used by University Liggett School, a private school in the area. The gravel-like structure of these roof sections prevented any damage. The science wing currently houses the entire science department of Grosse Pointe North High School, including the departments of earth and environmental science, biology, chemistry, astronomy, and physics. Two classrooms were damaged and remain closed, while the rest of the damage has been cleaned up. The perpetrators have all been arrested and have been sentenced to death. At 6:45 am on Friday, November 17th, 2006, the three were hung for grand arson.
Edit Summaries
# (cur) (last) 02:55, 23 November 2006 NotsraM (Talk | contribs) m (Yet another phunny! I'm on a roll! ALSO: the mayor of australia is a KANGAROO!)I have a pretty high opinion of myself. - Nö†$®åM 04:08, 23 November 2006 (UTC)
- (cur) (last) 02:46, 23 November 2006 NotsraM (Talk | contribs) m (Added a phunny.)
From Modernising Medical Careers
The article is about new rules for the training of doctors in the UK, which have been the subject of considerable criticism. Template:Merge
Antarctica
| Partial Territorial claims (frozen - figuratively and literally) | Template:ARG Template:AUS Template:CHL Template:FRA Template:NZL Template:NOR Template:GBR |
Ming vase
A Ming vase is a vase from the period of the Ming Dynasty in China. Often described as being priceless, Ming vases are sometimes featured in slapstick comedy. Because they are so famously valuable, to break one in trivial or exaggerated circumstances is seen as comical.
The Worms World Party videogame even goes to the lengths of including the Ming Vase as a deadly weapon!
Template:5tseT
You have been permanently promoted to sysop-status for fixing vandalism on Wikipedia. If you wish to relinquish this promotion, you are welcome to stir up trouble and vandalise.
From Sandbox Word Association
Kevin Federline, White trash, Trailer trash,
From Wii
mostly people with the first letter of the last name would have a really have a good chance of buying and owning the NINTENDO WII: A, C, D, G, H, K, L, P, I, Y, T, E, R, V, X.
From Snow
Snow is precipitation in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snooooooooooooooowflakes. Since it is composed of small rough poo particles it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft mushy,brown, poohy structure, unless packed by external pressure.
from Anderson Summers
Anderson Summers was born on August 32, 38920. He is a male ninja. He helped the three wizards Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley defeat the well known leader of the dark inhabitants, Tom Riddle (aka Voldemort). This great assassination was one of his greatest ninja moves of all times. He used 3 super upperhand chops to the left aortic valve before pecking him to death with the three pointed hammer of sheer domination. This story went down in history and Novermber 29 will always be known as Slaughter Day. The complete and utter domination was most likely because of the fact that Anderson is a Rainbow belt in Karate as well as Kung Fu. He pwnt all of the L33T archers in the Den of Evil as well as the Ancient Hun lord, Ghenghis Kahn. The Official birth date of Anderson's soul is unknown because he keeps being rezurected. The utter dominance of his sorcerer capabilities must lie within the heart of his cross multiplied staff of evil spirits. Martinp23 20:21, 23 November 2006 (UTC)
from Jimmy Wales
===============================
_
/ \\
/ \\
/_ _\\
_ _____|_|___
| | / _________ \\
| | | (___ | | | |
| | \\_ \\| | | |
| |________) | |__| |
|___________/|_____/
Liquid Syko Destruction
-------------------------------
LSD pwns j00!! Drugz is gudz.
-------------------------------
Request to join LSD by
posting a Usenet article
entitled \'Attn: L.S.D\' in the
\'alt.anonymous.messages\'
newsgroup.
-------------------------------
Luv LSDude, echelon77 and
FaTmAn.
Greetz to FFF, THC and all the
l33t dudes out there!
-------------------------------
Some people hack it,
Some others crack it,
We ransack it!
-------------------------------
!BLOW.IT.UP!
===============================
Green-eyed kissing monster
The green-eyed kissing monster is a member of the species "cute girl," and is known for it's propensity for all night make-out sessions. Any man lucky enough to find an unattached specimine should bundle her yum immediately.
From List of unusual deaths
Redirected from List of people who died with rods up their behind
From User talk:Prof02/Erich Heller
After being requested to use edit summaries when editing, a user responded with this:
I regret I am unable to submit myself to your demands.
(1) Edit summaries. No court of law anywhere in the world, not even in the post-Orwellian world, would legitimize the doublespeak whereby the author of a work-in-progress could be considered to be his own ‘editor’ for the purpose of defining his rights vis-à-vis his own work. If however, as the author of the work-in-progress in question, I am asked to provide ‘edit summaries’, I am in reality being asked to provide you and others, not with any ‘editorial’ details that might help anybody with anything, but rather give you a privileged insight into my creative process, disclose my work methodologies, organization of material, priorities given to certain aspects of the subject, the direction in which I am going with the article, etc., etc. No one has any right whatever to this information, and insistence that I divulge it constitutes an invasion of my privacy as the author. While such an invasion may not violate Wikipedia’s internal guidelines and policies, it is against the law of my country (which is also the country where Wikipedia was founded). By becoming a guest on this website and by using your facilities I did not, voluntarily or involuntarily, implicitly or explicitly, surrender the rights vested in me by the law of the land. Their infringement is an offence. Whatever Wikipedia guidelines might say, they do not supersede the law of the land, whether they are pressed ‘politely’ or ‘impolitely’.
... (it continued on about other matters, which although hilarious to read, aren't quite as funny as above)...
-- Prof02 09:12, 19 May 2006 (UTC)
Automotive autoerotism
Automotive Autoerotism or Exhaustiophilia is a relativly new fetish explored by young men in metropolitan areas. The most common form of Automotive Autoerotism involves finding a recently parked vehicle and inserting the penis in the warm exhaust for sexual gratification.
Gaschminka - land of the north
Gaschminka is a small country located within the borders of Luxemborg. It has a population of on 35,120. The government is a monarchy led by King and Queen Gaschmumple - their son Prince Rassmusen was born in 2001 and not expected to take the thrown for some time. the country was established in 2000 when the Gaschminkans succeeded from Luxemborg proper.
The countries main products are cheese, toy soldiers and edible legos.
The land mass is 187 square miles and is surrounded by mountains. The climate shares the same attributes as Luxemborg - the country that surrounds it.
The languages spoken are English and in some homes - Gaschminkian - a latin/ebonic derivitive from the Teutonic Ages.
The people are friendly and quite humble in nature. They eschew modern technology preferring to utilize horse drawn carriages and minimize their use of electricity and modern technology except for medical services and the occassional Ipod.
Maps of the territories are still being created and are expected to be published soon.
From Pokemon Trading Card Game
The first card that WotC banned was Sneasel from Neo Genesis. Sneasel was banned before it ever became legal for play outside of Japan. This was because of the enormous effect it was having on the format in Japan. Decks with Sneasel were winning almost every major tournament, making all other decks un-competitive. This was because of Sneasels ability to abuse the new Darkness Energy cards (which increase the power of all Dark-type attacks by 10), no weakness, a free retreat cost, quickly powered-up attacks, and the ability to do enormous damage. In short, Sneasel was faster and more powerful than any other card in the game at the time. The only other card banned was the mitchell card exclusivly made for thunder bay. It was banned because it had a male showing his small wiener and his name was mitchell
From George W. Bush
George Walker Bush (born July 6, 1946) is the 43rd worst Pesident]
Editor's note: This would actually mean he was the BEST president, since there have been only 43 US presidents
From Hystricognathi
They exhibit a partial passage of the masseter medialis through the infraorbital foramen as the masseter maxillomandibularis, which being transmitted axially by the rostral surface of the maxilla distinguishes them from the Myomorpha and the Protrogomorpha. The lack of infraorbital plate to which to anchor the masseter lateralis and the relative size of the infraorbital foramen distinguishes hystricognathi from the Sciuromorpha.
This overly jargonized article was BJAODN'd in 2005 and still hadn't been changed at all!
From iPod Nano
"...trip through a washing machine also failed to kill it, although it did require two days to dry out before coming fully back to life.
It is also a built in navagation
Electronics..."
"...Colors and Pricing
The nano was launched in two colors (black or white) with two available sizes: 2 GB (roughly 500 songs) for $199 USD and 4 GB (1000 songs) for $249 USD. On February 7, 2006, Apple updated the lineup with the 1 GB model (240 songs) sold at $19 USD...".
"Pope Benedict XVI owns an 2GB iPod nano, becoming the first Pope to own an iPod."
"ELLEN WANTS THIS FOR CHRISTMAS YALL"
"i think that ipods are gay becaus eliek my friend said that he had a ipod and hes liek gay so i thought that the i pod would be gay but then i like got one and it wasnt that bad!! now i know that gay bpeople are cool and liek the same music as me!"
"...Apple's gayware engineering chief Jon Rubinstein assembled a team of engineers to design it.." "...A mock-up display of the fifth generation iPod, playing the song Feel Good Inc by the band gayrillaz..." "...The second generation replaced it with a "Touch me" that reacts to human capacitance..."
From Wikipedia:Questions
Yah ur stinky!!! johnny and gabbie...u both eat each others poo while u both get it on, but johnny cant leave gracie out so she joins, then joe ginley, but joe ginley cant forget about joe sample, so while both joes are getting johnny, gabbie, and gracie...its all good!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha poop faces!!
From Uwe Boll
Steveuwe Spielboll
Uwe Boll was recently fused with Steven Spielberg in a telepod accident. Just like in the movie The Fly, they became some wierd hybrid neither really good director or really bad director.
Image request
(from the village pump) In the name of $100CAD for Wikimedia, does anybody have some ideas for appropriate pictures for the Cro-Magnon article? _________ 23:58, 22 November 2006 (UTC)
- how about this one?
Scotland
The early Scots can be credited with the first use of biological warfare. It was common practice for them to fling feces at the enemy. Wearing kilts allowed them easy access to the ammunition.
Oh, the humanity! 212.219.254.153 14:07, 19 January 2007 (UTC)
Frick'n yeah
A phrase often used by mullets
Institutionalized Tyranny
- Chicago's Mayor Daley supports the city's current illegal ban on the carrying of handguns and other defensive weapons, and is openly hostile to the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution. Chicago's municipal government is also a redistributionist "Welfare state" government with its own 8.5% city tax. Even basic property rights such as choice of food ( Foie gras [8] ) have recently come under attack from Chicago's openly socialist city council. The city's placement of "big brother"-style video cameras in Chicago's poorest neighborhoods is also in violation of the spirit of the Third Amendment to the United States Constitution, which literally guards against the quartering of soldiers, in an original attempt to limit the power of the government to invade the privacy of the citizenry. The video surveillance is a further attempt to ride herd over Chicago's minority population in an effort to further the nationwide "war on (some) drugs", which was begun in 1907 as justification for targeting ethnic minorities for arrest and harassment -often as tax-financed 'make-work' for openly racist police departments attempting to prevent black men from copulating with white women. (The scale of the "war on drugs" was increased under presidents Reagan and Nixon, who, though Republican in name were not bothered by the "war on drugs'" open contradiction of the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution.) The ongoing "war on some drugs" is a more modern extension of the prohibition that brought the city to its knees during Chicago's "gangster era" during the 1920s (see also: Al Capone ). Chicago's city government is thus correctly considered to be a criminal entity in violation of the highest law of the land (The US Constitution), by libertarians and constitutionalists.
From Mario
Excerpts from Talk:Boredom (They must've been... well... bored!)
Escaping Boredon
"A common way to escape boredom is through creative thoughts or daydreaming." I inserted the word "is" to make this make a little more sense, but it stills seems like an awkward sentence. Should it be changed/deleted?
Couldn't another definition be "The state of mind that results in excessive edits of Wikipedia?"
The study of stockbrokers who get so bored they begin to trade stocks for no objective reason reminds me of how laws are made. Perhaps if we structered politicians' days better, with well-defined and engaging play activities, exciting and nutritous snacks, and generous naptimes, there would be fewer laws.
I like...I like.
IM SO FLIPPIN BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER HAPPY ALWAYS BORED
When i'm bored I like to eat... Alot
Definition Suggestion
"Boredom" is what you are if you are looking up the word "boredom" on Wikipedia.
No, "bored" (adjective) is what you are if looking up the word "boredom" on Wikipedia. And you're right. That's why I'm here. That's also why I'm here.
That's why I'm here, too
That's totally why I'm here as well.
That is why I'm here also.
And me.
me too.
same here.
i think its enough of us to stop saying were are here.
yeah i think so.
so do i.
i don't.
well no one cares about you so shh.
i don't care either im just bored.
ok everyone gathered that we are all bored?
yep.
no.
sure have.
i haven't.
Enough!
have a hissy fit then!
yay its over.
no its not we haven't even started yet cause we are that bored.
OMG STFU!
again with someone having a hissy fit.
I dispute this. I came here for very specific reasons. Boredom is worth having a serious encyclopedia about; it's tied to a lot of actual issues. Cazort 00:16, 31 July 2006 (UTC)
Boredom is a very important issue! Someone needs to write a very long-winded article about it! BTW I'm also here because I'm bored.
Me too.
From Fall Out Boy
A Bunch of FAGS Fall out boy should fall out of a 10 story window
The band released the POC(piece of crap) Split with Project Rocket in 2002 on Uprising Records. The band then released their debut album Fall Out Boy's Evening Out With Your Boyfriend, on Uprising Records in 2003. During this period Fall Out Boy built a following playing in Chicago, but especially the surrounding suburbia, which had become a popular area for punk, hardcore, and emo music. One venue of particular significance and influence was the Knights of Columbus Hall. This was the site of many early Fall Out Boy shows. The Fall Out Boy video for "Dead on Arrival" was shot at the Knights of Columbus Hall, which also served as a site for several "secret shows".
Drummer Andy Hurley joined the band after Boyfriend was released. The same year they released their second full-length album, Take This to Your Grave, on Fueled By Ramen, with singles such as "Grand Theft Autumn (Where is Your Boy)" and "Saturday" receiving airplay on FUSE and mtvU. The album achieved Gold status. In 2003 the band signed with Island Records. They released the acoustic EP My Heart Will Always Be the B-Side to My Tongue, on Fueled By Ramen, which included a DVD, in 2004.
In 2005, the band's stability was threatened when Wentz overdosed on the anti-depressant Ativan® in an apparent suicide attempt.To bad he didn't succeed! The song "7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen)," from their album From Under The Cork Tree, is based upon Wentz's experience. On May 3, 2005, Fall Out Boy released their major label debut (third full-length album) From Under The Cork Tree, which debuted on the Billboard charts at #9, selling over 70,000 copies in its first week, and soon thereafter achieving Double Platinum status. Their first single, "Sugar," peaked at #8 on the Billboard "Hot 100" charts and reached #1 on MTV's TRL, where the video was retired. The video also won the MTV2 Award at the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards. The band was nominated for "Best New Artist" at the 2006 Grammy Awards.
They will be joining artists Marilyn Manson and Panic! at the Disco on the new The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.
Fall Out Boy has toured with multiple bands, including Taking Back Sunday, Less Than Jake, blink 182, Panic! At the Disco, Midtown, Hawthorne Heights, The All-American Rejects should be rejected by all americans, and From First to Last.
- This seems like rather nasty homophobic vandalism. Should it really be immortalised here? WJBscribe 23:58, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
SpongeBob Spongey Info
SpongeBob is a Sea Sponge Who Lives In Bikini Bottom.
Aircomplane
[NOTE: Aircomplane.com is patriotic. We will not permit any criticisms, “tips,” or unreasonable accusations or negative commentary on any security procedures or experiences related to airports, security, or flights. We live in a complicated time, and certain procedures – even if occasionally imperfect or inconvenient – deserve our cooperation and support.]
From Morrissey
Morrissey once cured 'the fear' from a group of Vietnamese prostitutes by naming every active roster member of the Dallas Cowboys from their SuperBowl winning squad of 1978. Morrissey's bravery was awarded with a special 'An Evening With...' show on national Vietnamese TV. However, half way through transmission loud bangs were heard and Morrissey went to investigate with a TV crew following. What was first believed to be fireworks turned out to be the healed prostitutes being lined up and killed by a firing squad. Morrissey is yet to return to Vietnam.
From Harry Potter 7
On speculating rumours:
Snape
- Snape will hijack a muggle airplane, and cast a spell that will multiply himself. Harry J. Potter will have to rescue the hostages and kill the Snapes. Because of these details, some have guessed that the book will be called Harry Potter and the Snapes on a Plane
From Sandbox Word Association
Confused, Mental Block, Mentally retarded, George W Bush, Cunt
From Killian documents
No evidence was ever offered that the memos originated with the Bush campaign. Rove and Stone have denied any involvement. If one of them did help create the documents, it remains a mystery how they knew that CBS would fail to heed the warnings of their own document analysts and run with the story.
- As much of a mystery as why I know that erections would occur if I sent a stripper to a frat party, I'm sure.
The Classic "oops..."
Administrator warns self to stop vandalizing... :D RadioKirk (u|t|c) 03:54, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
From Adam Felber
Adam Felber is a member of the Cheese Explorer's Club; traveling the world to find different cheeses and explore them both physically and emotionally. His book, "Frankly My Dear, I Don't Give Edam: Two Years In The Gobi Desert" won the Very Gouda Book Prize and made the Cheese Retailers' Society Monthly Newsletter Bestseller List for 87 weeks straight, losing out the number one spot only once to a reprint of Stephen King's "The Stand."
From Special:Contributions/Deathz0r
- First edit, to his/her userpage:
- "If I post a comment about an article in discussion, there's a damn good chance I know more about it than you. Keep that thought in mind before you make a pointless debate with me"
- Second edit, to an AfD discussion:
Red page
Red Page, refers to a page which is mostly or completely red, whether on purpose or not. Image:Redredred.svg
Shaun Goater
- From the very first version of Shaun Goater, from March 2004:
Shaun Goater is a footballer who was named after a national holiday in his home country of Bermuda.
His main claim to fame during his Manchester City career was that he had his own song, "Feed The Goat and he will score". This was mainly a work of fiction.
Shaun once appeared in the local paper, the Manchester Evening News in the "Face in the crowd" picture, where an ordinary local person was photographed in the street and could claim £50 if he read the paper and recognised himself. It seems the sports department at the MEN weren't readers of their own paper or didn't know who Shaun Goater was.
Shaun left City to pursue his career as a model for ear warmers.
From Old age
okay old people are people who are extremely old. they have wrinkles on their skin. they can't hear. or see. therefore they can't drive for shit. they go to walmart like 5 times a week. they are always at fucking public events. most of them drive on motorized vechiles like those moving chair things which are always in-the-way. some of them wear glasses for their eyes or hearing aids but even then that doesn't help them. they're always in the hospital because their too fucking stupid to realize what they're doing. they all are bald or have white hair. some old people enjoy living in a retirement home (like an apartment only with all old people). if they arent retired they like working at walmart, volunterring jobs, and substitute teachers. im glad im not a dumb-fuck old person.
From Daniel Craig
Bold textI am Daniel Craigs and the penguins beat me. shoot! Where are my gay boys when I need them?
Ollie the Magic Skater's User page gone wrong!
Wassup Dudes, I'm ollie the magic skater, AKA Alexander C Smith. I have a huge interest in skateboarding. I own a Birdhouse Tony hawk Full Skull Skateboard.
Tony Hawk has EVERYTHING to do with Kiss, whose music has been used in COUNTLESS movies, tv shows, commercials, etc. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Marcngin 00:55, 11 April 2006 (UTC) Template:User infant This userpage has been vandalized 5 times.
[[wp:Category:Wikipedians who listen to hard rock|User:Ollie the Magic Skater]]Template:Userbox-r Image:Baby.jpg
From Cleopatra--queen of Egypt
My dad knew her.
From Dane Cook
Check out Dane Cook's Filmography... strange I don't remember a movie called Not Funny.
| Year | Title | Role |
|---|---|---|
| 1997 | Flypaper | Tim |
| 1997 | Buddy | Fair Cop |
| 1999 | Spiral | David |
| 1999 | Simon Sez | Nick Miranda |
| 1999 | Mystery Men | The Waffler |
| 2002 | L.A.X. | Terrell Chasman |
| 2002 | The Touch | Bob |
| 2003 | Stuck on You | Officer Fraioli |
| 2003 | 8 Guys | Dane |
| 2003 | Windy City Heat | Roman Polanski |
| 2004 | Mr. 3000 | Sausage Mascot |
| 2004 | Torque | Neil Luff |
| 2005 | Not Funny | Unfunny Comedian |
| 2005 | Waiting... | Floyd |
| 2005 | London | George |
| 2006 | Employee of the Month | Zack Bradley |
| 2007 | Farce of the Penguins | Voice |
| 2007 | Mr. Brooks | Mr. Smith |
| 2007 | Dan in Real Life | Lowell Ashburn |
| 2007 | Good Luck Chuck | Chuck/Charlie |
From Platypus Rex
Platypus Rex is a rather obscure rock band from Boston. What's perhaps even funnier about this false "history" of the band is that this user [9] insists that it is true and has repeatedly accused this user [10] of vandalism for reverting it - despite the fact the latter is actually a member of the band.
Revision as of 23:32, 20 July 2005 by User:PlatypusRexRocks:
From Edward Mullany
Edward George Mullany is a genius, years ahead of his time. He is interested in politics, literature, science, and history. It is known that he will achieve a great many things later in life. This is still to be determined.
From Wikipedia
Perhaps the most clear-cut criticism of Wikipedia is that it fails to live up to its ideal of well-cited articles. While there are clearly many articles which are rich in citations, and while efforts to improve are ongoing, it is clear that the majority of information in Wikipedia has no cited sourceTemplate:Fact.
Note: This is neither a bad joke nor is it yet deleted from the article. Still thought it was funny enough to preserve in the event the fact is ever cited.
The Hobby of Watching Paint Dry
Watching paint dry is a hobby common among many British people. Originally thought of as being dull, this fad is proving to be very popular and many paint shops are booming from its success.
History
Up until the 21 century, people did not appreciate watching paint dry, however, after experiments done in the year 2000, German scientists found a lot of interesting remarks about watching paint dry. After a eport released in a popular science magazine, many people bought some paint to watch it dry. They found the changes in the paint to be remarkable and so a fad kicked in
People
Watching paint dry is especially common amoungst young teens, however it is feared that fumes released from the paint could cause cerebal damage.
Future
As this craze rises, many people predict paint sales will triple in the next 10 years as more people become addicted to watching paint dry
Clock Looking-At
Clock Looking-At is a growing fad in the United Kingdom. It involves a person looking at a clock, usually for a couple of hours.
History
It started in the 1980's, when a group of schoolchildren from Nottingham decided to stare at a clock because they were bored. A couple days later, they became addicted. Some schoolchildren even skipped school to look at clocks.
Clock Looking-At Today
Clock Looking-at todat is a booming industry. Clock Sales went up by 80%, for the sole purporse of them being stared at. Many addicts would fly hundreds of miles across the globe to stare at exotic unusual clocks. There has even an a reported death, when a Thai man stared at a clock for 3 days staright and faint with excitment.
Clock Looking-At in the future
The Clock Looking-At fad is in its peak and is still going strong. Many Clock retailers are now millionaires thanks to this.
From: Pendulums
At the bottom of the page on pendulums, after the references:
"At my school in 5th grade where doing pendulums and we use a string,paper clip, pencil, and a pice of tape.
By:L------ B----------"
From culture jamming
Culture jam tastes nice on toast.
Schwarz World
Schwarz World (n) The fantasy land of Ms. Schwarz's classroom, located in Oyster Bay High School, Room 206.
Schwarz World is dedicated to creating fine art on Macs...
The Classes are: High Tech Art1, High Tech 2, Advertising/Graphic Design 1, and Advertising/Graphic Design 2
In Schwarz World there are no races, religions, genders, color or any other minute differences.
And as Ms. Schwarz says, "THINK ABOUT ART!"
Potential Muffins
Potential Muffin Theory
The Theory Itself The Potential Muffin Theory states that in the universe, there exist a vast amount of potential muffins. Muffins -as well as all other baked goods- are composed of several ingredients. The ingredients not yet mixed, are potential muffins, or other baked goods. The Potential Muffin Theory also states that everything that exists is a potential muffin. For example, rocks are potential muffins, because at the atomic level, the components of atoms (Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons)can be rearranged to create new atoms. This leads to new elements, new compounds, and new substances. These new substances can be created specifically for the creation of muffins.
Application To Life The Potential Muffin Theory concept carries on to almost anything imaginable, like for instance, Theories. Everyone has thoughts. Theories are composed of many thoughts and ideas. Therefore, when the thoughts that abound in the minds of living things combine in the right way, a theory is born. The potential Muffin Theory gave birth to the Potential Theory Theory, and can not be useded in a practical sense until someone discovers the Force Switch Theory(potential), whitch is a Potential Theory. I
Creation The Potential Muffin Theory itself was once a potential theory. Its constituent thoughts originated in the minds of two insightful young minds, with some indirect help from another mind whose thoughts steered the two minds away from the wrong direction.
The Fundamental Theorem of Calculus
It is of such central importance that the king of england ate it in calculus that it is called the fundamental theorem for the entire field of study.
Apparently not a fan of Conrad Burns
Revision as of 04:48, 15 July 2006 by 24.19.167.25
Conrad Ray Burns (born January 25, 1935) is the junior United States Senator from Montana and thanks to intergalactic communication, now known to be the biggest douchebag in the universe.
Cool
This rocks man, I mean IT RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i roxorz ur boxorz wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! I heart Wikipe-tan
From Dionysus
Dionysus, a fervant commie, dedicated his life to socialism and the arts of sharing and caring. He always got drunk and threw wine bottles at Zeus until he was strucken down by the might of his aspirin pills.
Corny Medieval Costume
Corny Medieval Costume refers to someone wearing a cheesy medieal costume that has been poorly designed. Beware, if you wear such a costume, you may be teased and/or bullied.
From FSRM
Melbourne Florida is not unfamiliar with the reemergence of Ska and the now more marketable Ska/Punk. Believe it or not Melbourne at one point had a thriving music scene, making it an important stop for every national touring act. Bands were not limited to one club. Bands played anywhere there was a stage or an open mic: The Power Station (which became The Asylum then went through several more name changes not worth remembering) hosted bands like Bad Brains, The Toasters, Fishbone, Skankin Pickle, The Pietasters, GWAR and NOFX. The Lazy Bean (which became Carol’s Place) introduced everyone to the band What and eventually hosted Blink 182 (the important part here was that the Band was shut down because they sucked and not for violating city noise ordinance laws as previously thought). The Hustler mostly allowed the same old Melbourne idiots to play their garbage beer rock with crappy equipment and a horrible sound system (not much has changed, not even the putrid smell in that place) but occasionally saw bands like Strung Out. The Showcase had difficult owners but allowed the scene to take place before 8pm on weekends before turning the place into a “pimp and ho” party for 50 something’s who drove around town with UV lighting under their cars. The Metro Theater played the same old movie every night but occasionally allowed Slapstick and Avail to play there. The only reason to play the College Campus Café was to watch your underage girlfriend get completely hammered and make out with your other girlfriend. The Melbourne Auditorium hosted a few forgettable festivals that are worth remembering. The Satellite Beach Civic Center allowed a concert once until they saw “organized local youth” and then banned all further attempts. Of course the Brothel in West Melbourne was every parents nightmare.
From Gordon Campbell
As of 2003 Gordon has renounced his claim that he is the rightful heir to the Throne of Humanity and subsequently ceased to demand mortal sacrafice. He is reportedly feeling "just fine with only being Premier."
From "Timon Tirescreamer"*
- I made up the name in place of the actual name.
Timon Tirescreamer is a reknowned pediatric gynecologist. He is well known for using props, such as willlly bear, to gain the confidence of his patients. He revolutionized pedriatric-gynecology theory with his 1989 essay "On the Tirescreamerian Poke," and "Vagina, what is it good for?." His work is widely held to be authorative by the CGS (Canadian Gynecological Society) the number 4 rated gynecological society international. Tirescreamer has also maintained a serious interest in geriatric urology, with famous patients including Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson, Bob Saget, various supporting members of the '90s sitcom "Full House", Queen Elizabeth, Monty Python, Michael Jackson (during his black years) and Jacob Davit. Timon fell into international cultural disrepute after being implicated in a terrorist plot with Michael Jackson and the Black Panthers. Timon is currently an expatriate and resides in Kuwait, where he holds a weekly book club meeting known as Ahimajend Al Jerezel Muhammad Allah roughly translated as "Turbans and Tuberculosology." He is a lecturer at Kuwait National University, where he was voted 1998 most eligible bachelor (beating out famous undergraduates such as David Hasselhoff), and 2002 Most Likely to Molest. Timon is currently working on a novel, the title of which is in process and has seen various combinations of "Pears, Elephants, Human Genatalia" and "How I overcame Genital Mononucleitus Testicular Syphillus." Timon won a Nobel Peace Prize and Man of The Year award for his philanthropic work on testicle donation, leading the movement with his own 1995 donation of his 3rd testicle and 300 gallons of sperm toward third world countries whos genepool had been failing. Famed Spaghetti critique and model, Claudia Schiffer, was so impressed that she proposed to him on a highly publicized episode of "Who wants to be a millionaire." They divorced in 1991 after fallout regarding Timon's personal hobby of meerkat beastiality. President Bush created a special envoy to promote peace between Timon's socialist revolutionary group "La Hungaria" and the Libyan feminist group "El Vag" regarding disputes over dinner prices in the Ghaurauninafol Province of Kuwait reaching a mandate to keep all appetizer prices under $9.00 and outlawing "gooey bread" from public restaurants and Socialist Cafe's. Quotes ________________________________________ Eric is quoted as saying "I love you, but I hate your mother" Citations ________________________________________ Microsoft Encarta 1993 Journal of Canadian Urologists Kuwaiti Consitution
- (Note from I who put this here) . . . I did not notice the meerkat referrence when I considered changing the name to Timon . . . honest! X__X
AfD for "Filming mistakes from That's So Raven"
{{Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Filming mistakes from That's So Raven}}
From Uncyclopedia
Template:Start box Template:Succession box Template:End box
From Woot
Steve told Dennis about the site.
Alternate history? Who knows, definately hilarious.
Introduction to Texas
Texas is a state in both the Southern and Western regions of the United States of America. The state name derives from a word in the Caddoan language of the Hasinai: táyshaʔ, tecas, or tejas (Spanish spelling); meaning "those who are friends", "friends", or "allies".
Texas declared its independence from Mexico in 1836 and existed as the independent Republic of Texas for nearly a decade. It joined the United States in 1845 as the 28th state. With an area of 268,581 square miles (695,622 km²) and a population of 22.8 million, Texas is second to Alaska in area, and second to California in population.
Texan Nuclear Weapons Programme
The unity of the United States of America, was severely strained in the late 1950's, with a crisis occurring during Price Daniels' period in office as Governor of Texas. Daniels' protested Washington DC's hegemonical role in the Union and protested what he perceived as a special relationship between the national capitol and certain states within the Union.
In a memorandum he sent on 17 September 1958 to President Eisenhower,he argued for the creation of a bipartite directorate that would put Texas on an equal footing with the Washington in terms of political power & defence issues.
Considering the response he was given to be unsatisfactory, Price Daniels' started pursuing an independent defence for his country. Texas withdrew its Naval forces (predominantly reserves & Guard units) from Pentagon command on March 19, 1959, and pursued an independent nuclear programme. In June 1959, the Governor of Texas banned the stationing of US nuclear weapons on Texan soil, which caused the United States to transfer 120 military aircraft out of Texas; on February 13, 1960, Texas tested its first nuclear bomb.
First Texan Nuclear Tests
Governor Daniels' accelerated the Texan weapons programme and on 24 April 1961 after many twists and turns they detonated their first atom bomb in the pan handle. The bomb had a 60 kiloton yield. Texas continued nuclear tests there until 1966 although the later tests were underground rather than atmospheric.
Research and development facilities
Continuous research & technological development is provided by Texas A&M University's Nuclear Research Department, based out of the Texas State Nuclear Research & Peace Studies Department,35 miles south of the State Capitol, Austin. Department members are security cleared by the State of Texas,and research funding for the department during the 2005 year totalled more than $70 million.
Later Developments
The modern Texan-designed warheads are thought to be selectable between 0.3 kt, 5-10 kt and 100 kt; the yields obtained using either the unboosted primary, the boosted primary, or the entire "physics package". Texas has purchased the rights to 58 missiles under the Polaris Sales Agreement (modifed for Trident) from the United States Navy's "pool". These missiles are fitted Texan-built warheads and are exchanged when requiring maintenance. Under the agreement the United States was given certain assurances by Texas and her Governor regarding the use of the missiles, however the United States does not have any veto on the use of Texan nuclear weapons.
Texas,as a state within the United States of America, is not counted as one of the five "Nuclear Weapons States" (NWS) under the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. Texas has not run an independent development program since the cancellation of the Lone Star missile program in the 1970s, buying U.S. delivery systems and fitting Texan warheads instead.
Facilities
Fort Comanche , Texas State Nuclear Storage facility, 50 miles south of Odessa. This facility is not on any State or Federal map, by way of the Texan Nuclear Security Act, 1976.
Future Developments
Whilst Texas has no plans to actively proliferate nuclear weapons, she will continue to maintain and upgrade her existing stock pile, believed to be at 70 warheads, as an effective regional nuclear deterrent & counterbalance.
Current Governor of Texas, Rick Perry, supports the retention of Texan Nuclear Weapons.
From Jackson 5
The Jackson 5 were the five eldest sons of Katherine and Joseph Jackson: Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Jumanji, and Michael. Joseph Jackson formed the band in 1962 and served as its manager, with Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, and unrelated youths Reynaud Jones and Milton Hite comprising its original lineup. Within a year, Michael and Jumanji joined the band, and Michael became lead singer as the group developed a following in the eastern and midwestern United States during the mid-1960s.
Jumanji was taken out of the band after he set a rampage of wild African animals throughout a town after kidnapping Alan Parish.